Laura Hollman

English 101

Essay #2 Summary and response

23 February 2008

When to say “When”

In his essay “Still Learning from my Mother” Cliff Schneider shows his readers that perseverance can overcome age and frailty. Schneider’s mother, a tough old thing, bowled her best game ever at age 79. Determination can be a powerful thing indeed!

Although in his essay Cliff Schneider correctly states that with a little determination people can overcome large obstacles, I feel like this is not true of the aged and aging population. Often, pride can keep people from admitting they are not what they used to be, potentially leading to ill health, feelings of inadequacy, and embarrassing social situations, as shown in the three examples that follow.

My grandfather was an inventor. When you get off of an airplane, the skywalk between the door and the airport exists in part because of my grandfather. He could fix anything. When I was a kid I would sometimes purposely tangle the line in my fishing rod just to watch him take everything apart, fix it, and re-assemble it for me. When he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, he had a hard time. He wouldn’t admit that there was anything wrong, he wouldn’t take his medicines. He was only sixty, still strong in body and mind. If you had asked him what his plans were, he wouldn’t have talked about his will or where he wanted his ashes sprinkled, even towards the end. He would have told you about what he wanted to make everyone this year for Christmas. Although determination can produce amazing results, people like my grandfather are and were unbending. “Try to make some concession to your age, Mom” Schneider said (4). Sometimes, you have to make concessions. My Grandfather, with more frequent visits to his doctors and more willingness to accept treatment, may have stayed on this earth longer than he did. Pride led my grandfather to an early grave. Overly dramatic? Perhaps. True? Definitely. Sometimes, what you think is best is NOT best.

Pride and competitiveness makes men in particular do strange things. Have you ever noticed that middle-aged men will continue trying to eat the spiciest, fattiest or the largest quantities of food long after they are young enough to handle it?  Like it or not, Uncle Fred cannot eat all those extra spicy hot wings and be heartburn-free, simply through determination and resolve.  Gastrointestinal tracts do not recognize willpower, sadly. Watching a younger man scarfing down all the foods he used to enjoy without discomfort makes Fred nostalgic and jealous.  “…you are never too old to dream…” writes Schneider (6), but face it Fred, you really are too old to handle those hot wings. Fred’s body does not respond the way it used to, and he feels old, decrepit, and inadequate. If Uncle Fred simply admitted to himself that perhaps the mild chicken wings were a better choice for him, those feelings of inadequacy (and the heartburn) could be avoided. 

Perhaps old Uncle Fred is not what he used to be, but women too are equally guilty of letting “determination” to look young embarrass them. Many middle-aged women have body image issues. They squeeze themselves into clothes too small for them, they hit on younger men at bars, they lie about their age.  Like old Mrs. Schneider, they will not admit defeat. “I’m going to make 200 if it kills me” (Schneider 5). They continually try to turn back the hands of time. These women are perfectly lovely, when dressed to fit their age, gracefully made-up, and behaving like grown adults. However, when they are unable to admit to themselves that they are no longer 25, it gives them no end of grief in front of the mirror. Often, their endeavors are looked upon as being “sad” or “desperate.” Often, these habits are embarrassing to the women’s children and more mature friends. If only they could dress and behave like the adults they have become, so much self-consciousness and shame could be prevented. Plus, think of all the money they’d save if they weren’t buying endless pairs of too-tight jeans?

With a little determination, people can overcome large obstacles, but some obstacles cannot or should not be overcome. When proud people age, they can be unreasonable and potentially cause themselves harm. By denying illness, they can allow it to get worse. By denying their body’s changes, they can look ridiculous and struggle with ego issues. By being too tenacious in the pursuit of youthful looks, they can embarrass themselves and those around them. Determination and perseverance is not necessarily a miraculous and wonderful thing.  Often, it does more harm than good.

Works Cited

Schneider, Cliff. “Still Learning from My Mother.” Newsweek March 2000.