Sample Student Essay—Summary-and-Response—with corrections

When I read James Lincoln Collier’s essay, “Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name”, I instantly began to reflect upon my own life. According to Collier, if you “accept anxiety as another name for challenge, ….you can accomplish wonders” (36). This lone sentence speaks volumes. Collier writes about how he discovered if you face your anxieties, you will be happier in the end because of your accomplishments, instead of being depressed you did not see your dreams through. He was able to learn four rules regarding the facing of anxiety, and following through with these rules helped him to be more accomplished and happy.

Collier discovered the first rule, “do what makes you anxious, don’t do what makes you depressed” (35) when he turned down a summer in Argentina because he listened to his anxiety. He, instead, spent a depressing summer wishing he had gone to Argentina. He realized if he had only worked through his fears, he would have had an opportunity of a lifetime. I reflect back many years ago when I was facing a divorce and badly needing a career change. I wanted to break out of the doldrums of life and was ready for something new and exciting. The opportunity to test for the Spokane Fire Department came up and I experienced an exhilarating feeling. Remembering how I felt that very moment I made the decision to try, is what got me through the severe anxiety that followed. Every time I would think about giving up, I would fall into a depression of lost confidence, and every time I picked myself up and started again, I felt at least I was walking in some direction.

I will never forget the day of the physical agility test. There were 25 women and several men on a hot summer day. My anxiety was soaring higher than ever as I watched the women fail the test one after the other. Even though I had practiced the events several times, I tried to convince myself to “do it the way the others did it” even though they were failing. In the last second before I started my turn, the voice of reason screamed to do it the way I had practiced. I proceeded onto each task with every ounce of confidence I could muster and suddenly became the first of only five women to pass.

Collier found himself depressed and struggling with what career path to choose, one that someone suggested he would be good at, or the one he wanted to do. This was when he learned his second rule, “to avoid that kind of depression meant, inevitably, having to endure a certain amount of worry and concern”. (Collier 35) He found that even if the stakes are high and the road rough, you should still choose what you want. Collier states “…. Soren Kierkegaard believed that anxiety always arises when we confront the possibility of our own development. It seems to be a rule of life that you can’t advance without getting that old, familiar, jittery feeling”. (35) After I was hired by the Fire Department, I started a very rigorous 12-week recruit school. Before that began, I had to move my three children from a different town, set them up in school, find a house to rent, and, worse, quit my job. I knew if I did not get through school, I would have nothing to fall back on. I wish I could say school was a bed of roses, but, although very fun, it was not. The anxiety of being 35 years old in a class that averaged 23 and being a woman to boot was overwhelming. Because most of the physical testing situations had time limits, my adage would be “I can do anything for ten minutes”. I will not forget the day I pinned my badge onto my uniform.

The third corollary to Collier’s basic rule: “you’ll never eliminate anxiety by avoiding the things that caused it” (35) came from teaching his young son to swim. He goes on to say “…. it is one thing to urge someone else to take on those anxiety-producing challenges; it is quite another to get ourselves to do it”. (Collier 35) It taught him if you don’t face your anxiety, you will never get past it. The anxiety I felt about going into my first “real” fire was excitement mixed with fear. I thought maybe I could somehow be in charge of pulling hose at the top of the stairs or finding any other useful job so at least I looked busy. The moment the engine pulled up to my first “working” house fire and I saw the flames and smoke coming out of the windows, I knew I had to put my training into practice. Fueled by excitement and adrenaline, I took the hose into that burning house and knew immediately I had made the right choice about not staying outside looking busy. The more fires I worked, the less anxiety I felt. As Collier put it, I “…. ‘extinguished’” my anxiety “…. by confronting it.” (35)

Collier let his anxiety get the better of him when he turned down a business trip to Europe. He felt he could not navigate the language, geography and transportation system. He realized this was just his anxiety talking and made his fourth rule: “you can’t learn if you don’t try” (Collier 36) I learned this in my second year as a firefighter when I decided to start a two-year program to become a paramedic. Needless to say it was a tough program and when it was finally over I was glad. Then the real anxiety set in. How could I possibly know enough to treat someone with breathing or heart problems or fix a broken leg? Would I really have the guts and knowledge to help someone on the brink of death become alive again? A mentor of mine told me at that time it was all right to feel anxious because it showed I cared about making mistakes. I found this to be a profound statement and have since passed this along to other new paramedics. The more people I saw and treated, the more comfortable I became. I discovered that compassion and kindness are always the best medicine and I already possessed that.

After I conquered my anxieties of being a firefighter and paramedic, I thought I had accomplished my career goals. I have since become a lieutenant which brought on the anxiety of making decisions and being responsible for not only myself but for the lives of my crew. I was recently offered a position in our Training Division, which brought up new anxieties of speaking in front of people and presenting training to firefighters who have more time on the job than I. I did accept this challenge and for the first time in my life I feel I actually have the knowledge and experience to teach others. I am currently working on my next goal of becoming the Division Chief for Emergency Medical Services. This is why, at 50 years old, I am working 10-hour days teaching and going back to school. I agree with Collier when he states “….each time you try something, you learn, and as the learning piles up, the world opens to you”. (36) When I look back I can see if I had chosen to let my anxiety rule my decisions, I would not have this great career. If I had chosen not to pursue what I have up to now, I would not have discovered my abilities. I would not have discovered my confidence. Now, when I am faced with anxiety, I find myself willing and ready for the challenge.

The Corrected Essay

A good start.

Collier discovered the first rule, “do what makes you anxious, don’t do what makes you depressed” (35) when he turned down a summer in Argentina because he listened to his anxiety. He, instead, spent a depressing summer wishing he had gone to Argentina. He realized if he had only worked through his fears, he would have had an opportunity of a lifetime. I reflect back many years ago when I was facing a divorce and badly needing a career change. I wanted to break out of the doldrums of life and was ready for something new and exciting. The opportunity to test for the Spokane Fire Department came up and I experienced an exhilarating feeling. Remembering how I felt that very moment I made the decision to try, and that feeling of exhilaration is what got me through the severe anxiety that followed. Every time I would think about giving up, I would fall into a depression of lost confidence, and every time I picked myself up and started again, I felt at least I was walking in some direction.

What?!?!?! Congratulations!

Collier found himself depressed and struggling with what career path to choose, one that someone suggested he would be good at, or the one he wanted to do. This was when he learned his second rule, “to avoid that kind of depression meant, inevitably, having to endure a certain amount of worry and concern”. (Collier 35). He found that even if the stakes are high and the road rough, you should still choose what you want. Collier states “…. Soren Kierkegaard believed that anxiety always arises when we confront the possibility of our own development. It seems to be a rule of life that you can’t advance without getting that old, familiar, jittery feeling”. (35). After I was hired by the Fire Department, I started a very rigorous 12-week recruit school. Before that began, I had to move my three children from a different town, set them up in school, find a house to rent, and, worse, quit my job. I knew if I did not get through school, I would have nothing to fall back on. I wish I could say school was a bed of roses, but, although very fun, it was not. The anxiety of being 35 years old in a class that averaged 23 and being a woman to boot was overwhelming. Because most of the physical testing situations had time limits, my adage would be “I can do anything for ten minutes”. I will not forget the day I pinned my badge onto my uniform.

Periods and commas always go inside of parentheses

Cathy, an ellipsis is only three spaced dots rather than four. A fourth dot is used if the ellipsis is the end of a sentence.

MLA Citation:

Collier, James Lincoln. “Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name.” Reader’s Digest Sept. 1997: 35-37