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Dear God, That
VIPER!! He tricked me!! There I was, minding my own business and
working on my tan, when that awful
beast came walking out from under the orange tree (I really think Adam could
have chosen something more creative
than that name) and started asking me all kinds of questions. And you know how many things I have to think about, what with having to
consider what kinds of blossoms I’ll be putting in my hair and what fruit to
have for breakfast and where the monkeys hid my comb. I got so confused!! And that horrible beast made me even more
confused and how was I supposed to know that somebody could say something and
it not be true? I am the injured party
here! And when you came into the
garden looking for us, I was SO terrified, and then Adam just threw me under
the camel and made it seem like I
was the only one to blame and ever
since he has been just hateful to
me, making all kinds of comments that you should have made me from some other
part of him besides a bone because that must be what is in my head and that really hurt my feelings and then water
came out of my eyes and that made Adam’s face get all funny and he stomped off
and it’s all been so upsetting!! And I don’t think it was very nice of
you to put a perfectly good tree in the garden with perfectly good fruit on
it if you didn’t want us to eat it because you don’t know what it’s like to
have so many things to think about.
And you said I was supposed to help Adam and so I thought it would be
helpful to give him something to make him wise. And why didn’t you warn us about that wretched snake? You said the world
was good but that monster was in
the garden and he made me so confused and everything has been so upsetting
ever since! I didn’t find my comb and
I can’t even get in the garden to look for it and now I have tangles in my
hair and Adam used to tell me he liked how my hair shines like gold in the
sunlight but now he tells me he wishes it were a darker color and he tells
jokes about it and it hurts my feelings.
Please don’t be mad at us anymore and please let us come back into the
garden now that you’ve read my apology but please don’t give that wretched
reptile back his legs because he deserves to crawl in the dirt because he
tricked me on purpose. Love, Eve p.s. Do you think you could find my comb
for me? |