(Indent) In Anita Garland’s essay “Let’s Really Reform Our Schools” She talks about how our schools need some changes. Some of these changes are to stop forcing kids who don’t want to go to school to go to school, how there should be school uniforms worst, how there should be healthier foods in the cafeteria, how after school activities should be more educational instead of being focused on completion (<competition) betweens others and being distracted by the cheerleaders, and also about how the prom should be cut.

Anita Garland in her essay “Let’s Really Reform Our Schools” talks about what is needed to be done to better our schools and make them a safer learning environment. As a first year college student who just graduated from high school and can remember what it was like to go to school every day, I would have to agree with Garland’s opinions on what needs to be changed.

The first thing Garland says that needs to be fixed is making kids go to school who don’t want to be there in first place so they make it hard for others to learn. What is the point of making them go to school, it is their lives they are screwing up, they will be the ones who regret their decisions later on in the future. (<comma splice errors marked in yellow) These schools believe the best way to make someone change their behavior and start going to school is suspension, “Suspension from school for a few days doesn’t improve their behaviors” they didn’t want to be at school in the first place (Garland 101). When these troublemakers are forced to go to school, they become a distraction and I know this firsthand how annoying this can be. Not only did I have to deal with these troubles makers in my classes, my brother was one of them. He didn’t want to be in school so he would skip, be rude to the teachers, or just not do anything in class. All they do is make “teachers and fellow students miserable” so what’s the point in keeping them in school (Garland 101).

If you identify the author in the beginning of the paragraph, you need only the page number in parentheses.

The second thing she said that needs to be changed is how the students dress. Schools should start “requiring students to wear school uniforms” (Garland 102). If school uniforms were required, we wouldn’t have to worry about some of the stuff people wear. (Start this sentence with “Examples include” >) Girls wearing the miniskirts that flare up when they walk up the stairs and you see their butts because they decided to wear thongs; wearing low-cut pants that make parts of their anatomy hang out. The low-cut shirts, shirts that show of their bellies and the famous belly ring. Would you want your daughter dressing like that, talk about DISTRACTION. Guys wear the pants that hang down so low you see their boxers and if you are unlucky, their butts. Shirts that exploit women have drug, gang, and or sex references on them. Does this give you a good idea on what I had to deal with on a daily basis? School uniforms would solve this problem. Schools are for education not a fashion show.

The third point she talks about needing to be changed change Garland suggests is the food in the cafeteria. “How about a Milky Way, a bag of Fritos, a coke” yum, can you say heart attack, diabetes, obesity (Garland 102). It’s getting to the point where it is not healthy to eat at the schools. People who want to eat healthy lunches would have to bring their own but then there is place to put it so it would go bad before you can eat it. They Some school cafeterias have salads but they aren’t the greatest tasting and subs, other than that pizza, grease, heart attack in a bag, and diabetes in a can. Is it really that hard to put healthy foods in our schools? We are taught to eat healthy in health class but when it comes time for lunch, those lessons fly out the window. We should all start eating healthy and the first place to start is in schools.

The final thing she said that needs to be changed or better yet cut change Garland suggests is the prom. All it is a “fluff-headed, money-eating, misery-inducing event” that makes girls go head over heels crazy to make theirs the best (Garland 103). At what price are we allowing this to go on; higher chances of teenage pregnancies, date rape, STDs, and alcohol related accidents, and misery. Parents are allowing their teens to rent hotel rooms for the night on prom, are they dumb? I was already about seven months pregnant at prom, but I wonder how many girls got pregnant that night. Parents spend their life’s life savings to buy that perfect dress, get the perfect dinner, and ride; they do all for memories and regrets. What’s the point? Out with prom and in with something that will not screw up our teens.

All the points that Anita Garland makes in her essay are very good and true. We need to start thinking about our children and their future. We need to reform our schools by stop forcing those lids who don’t want to go to school to school, serve healthier foods, enforcing school uniforms, and cutting prom. If our schools got reformed, not only will it help the students, it will help teachers and parents. Think about what is best for our children.

You have the rough parts of a really good essay here, but this essay still could use more editing. Note the two examples below. See how many words I was able to omit? In the first example I made three words work where eight were used, and in the second example I made three words work where twelve were used. Why make the reader read more words than are needed? Plus the changes add more “punch” to the idea. So that is where to spend time—reading your rough drafts aloud—tweaking your sentences so that they are leaner.

The third point she talks about needing to be changed change Garland suggests is the food in the cafeteria.

The final thing she said that needs to be changed or better yet cut change Garland suggests is the prom.